I love horses

Natalie Dee says: 'If you don't know the horse girl, you are the horse girl.' I'm ok with that.

The good, the bad and the snuggly

Bad things that happened last night:

• A bad man said he knew me from somewhere and that he recognised me because I have a bog eye (which I do not!)
  
• I lost Matt on the way home (it's ok though, I found him again!)
  
• I got a Black Russian but the daft barman had put Sambuca in it! Euh!


• I accidentally stayed out until 5am again!

Good things that happened last night:

• Matt scared the bad man away by telling him he was a police man (which he is not!)


• Someone offered me a glass of Crystal (darling!) and I accepted


• Someone offered me a shot of Sambuca and I said no. That's growth!
  
• I got lots of good photos


• I accidentally stayed out until 5am again!

Oranges and Lemon Catherines

My clementine obsession is back. This time last year I was eating about five of them a day and worrying my skin may turn orange. I noticed that nets of clementines were on offer in t'ASDA so I couldn't resist. As a result, I'm back to eating obsessively. Dammit! I'm like a clementinaholic: once I've had one, I just can't stop myself. Ah well, at least I smell orangey fresh!

Got to go: can't peel and type at the same time x

Investimagation

I'm writing a assignment about science investigations in the primary school at the moment. I'm having huge trouble though, as every time I go to write the word 'investigate' I want to type the word 'investimigate'. I don't know why! It's not just that word though: there are others that I feel the need to add letters to. For example:

Congratumalations

Instimigate

Sophistimicated

Max, fetch me my sedative!

This year there are going to be Christmas trees suspended from the front of every building on our street. This week, they came to measure up and fix the tree holders to the walls. I'm getting definite feelings of grinchyness!Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Christmas. I get more excited than the average kid. However, as usual, it has arrived far too early. It's still two months away! It never really feels like Christmas is on it's way until my birthday has been and gone, and that's not until the 24th of November (and don't you forget it!). Most of the shops in town have their Christmas stock in store and some of them already have their Christmas CDs on loop. Blast this Christmas music: it's both joyful AND triumphant!

A Fun Day Out

It's been another hectic weekend! It's been fun though. On Friday evening I went to my boyfriend's Dad's girlfriend's son's gig. Confused? Me too! To save on time I could have said that that it was my brother in law, however, as neither Matt and I, nor Shane (Matt's Dad) and Janet are married, that would have been untrue. I don't want to lie to you. Where would we be then, blogfans? If we don't have the truth, we have nothing. Ahem [wiping tear from face], anyway.....

The gig was really good. Toby and his band, 'Fun Day Out', have only been together a couple of months but were ace. I took plenty of photos, and even a video. The gig was mainly full of fifteen year old emos and I was designated driver so I couldn't even make vodka take the pain and shame of old age away! However, Matt and Luke drank enough to compensate for my sobriety and managed to act like the youngest there. Quite an achievement! My favourite memory of the evening is Matt doing the Macarena (wrongly!) with about ten 15 year old girls! It was a special moment.

Once we got back to Lancaster, we went out to the Lounge with Sanam, Chris and Rumana. I have learnt an important lesson....playing catch up is not wise. Why is it that every time you try and make up for the fact that everyone else has been drinking for 4 hours already, you end up more drunk than anyone else? Silly, silly me! We had an ace night though. I love living in town centre and being able to walk (ok, ok, stagger) home whenever I like. Lancaster rocks!

You Betcha!

We shall call him Pervy Pete. Some of you will know who he is. Some will not. That is neither here nor there. The point is, Pervy Pete creeps me out.

Stop winking and making inappropriate comments to your students you dirty old man!

Big ear holes scare me

They do. They scare the be-Jeezus out of me. Do I need to see through your ear? Ich don't think so! Do Iwant to see though your ear? God, no!

For any of you that have not had the joy of seeing big ear holes first hand, let me expalin. They are called ear plugs (not the kind you wear when you don't want to listen to screaming kids on the plane) and seem to be very popular with emos at the moment. You get them in increasing sizes so you can stretch you ear piercing hole from small to gigantasaurus size. I don't know why. The most creepy ones are the 'tunnel' type, like in the picture. Not only do they make massive holes but they let the whole world see through the massive hole. Yummers! They give me the heebie jeebies!

I have no hair!

Ok, so that's a slight exaggeration. I have a lot less hair than I had this time yesterday though! I went to Claire Bear's last night and she cut it all off into a bob for me. I love it! I was well brave because it is a LOT shorter than it was. I hate getting the fear when you get your hair cut and can see big chunks of it falling onto your lap. I don't get that when Claire does my hair though. She always does a dead good job of it. She rules!

I had a dead random night last night. We got back from Claire's at about midnight and decided to go for 'just one' in The Borough last night and ended up staying in The Lounge until 5am with McKenna and co. Whoops! I'm still a little bit drunk now! Ok, a lot drunk. Ha ha! Daytime drunkness is fun. It's made funnier by the fact that I always bump into a million people that I know (again, slight exaggeration, but it makes story telling soo much more fun) in town. Only one of them told me I smelt of alcohol though! The others must have been too polite!

In other news, I have head freeze from my smoothie. Booooooooo!

p.s. Appologies to Jenny for texting her at 3.25am. That wasn't clever!

Funny things that happened at school this week...

1) The kids were doing leaflets on the dangers of smoking. One Yr 5 child (9/10 years old) asked, "Can we draw spliffs?". Erm, that'd be a no!

2) The same class were doing a hotseat/role play activity where one girl was pretending to be a survivor of the Titanic. She was asked where she was when they hit the iceberg. She said she was in bed. She was then asked if she was wearing any knickers and if she was in bed with another man. Cute. Ahem.

3) The kids are split into groups. One group are called the 'Turtles'. I was down on the lesson plan to work with that group and at the start of the lesson the teacher asked me, "Are you turtling?" I very nearly was after that comment!

Roll on half term! x

I had fun in Morecambe!

Oh my God, Alan Carr was soooo funny! He was on at the Platform in Morecambe tonight. We tried to convince him to come for a curry with us afterwards but I think 'Taggart' scared him off! I got the funniest picture of Alan Carr running away from Kit and Gail. In fact, it is so good that I think I should hold a caption competition.... suggestions on a postcard please. Or you could just leave a comment. Whatever. There was a fair bit of heckling going on - mainly from our group (well, Kit to be more specific)!

I had face ache from laughing by the end of the show. When he started the show by saying 'Can someone turn the microphone down a bit please, it's making me sound camp', I knew it was gonna be a belter! His support act was proper funny too. He was talking about his OCD and said that he had to have his cutlery draw organised in the following order: forks, spoons, knives and then teaspoons, because that was the order you lay the table in. This caused me to realise that I have yet another weird little OCD habbit too! My cutlery draw has to be arranged in knife, fork, spoon, teaspoon order, beacuse that is the natural order you list cutlery in. Oh good, so it turns out I am in fact completely nuts. I take some comfort in the fact that I am not alone though. I now know at least three other people who can't eat with odd cutlery. Maybe I should start a club. Hmmmmmm. Maybe.

Anyhoo, I think I need to sleep now. I really must go to bed. I must also stop drunk blogging, but that is another issue for another time. Goddamit, even Jeremy Kyle couldn't help me! I'll finish with the quote of the evening, which came from an usher at the Platform. She shouted across the room after the show had ended, 'It's easiest from behind'. It wasn't even intentionally rude. Give that lady a medal! Also, thanks to all for a cracking night and to Gail for organising it! xxxxx

Pukey Birthday

Happy Birthday Puke! Next year, for God's sake, don't have your birthday meal at Bistro Gerry! It was a very very funny night and there was much vodka involved. It was ace to see all the family and catch up with everyone. The food was poo though. They tried to charge me £13.50 for a plate of mushy veg due to the fact that the chef had to use 'a lot of pans' to make my meal. As if! They also slapped a £20 service charge onto the bill and the waitress was a right miserable cow. Needless to say, I didn't pay full price for my meal and we didn't pay the service charge either. Tiggis next time, me thinks! It's right across the road, the food is yum and there's usually at leats one hot waiter! Would I go back to Bistro Gerry? Yes, but I'd have to order two meals: one for me and one for the guy holding the gun to my head! (Jenny and Kassra, I know you know!)

On a more serious note, my fish is poorly. Boo hoo hoo! I think he has dropsy. He is all puffed up and his scales are standing on end. He looks so chubby and sad. I think he'll be ok though, he just needs antibiotics. Get well soon Ebo xxx

Paintball fun

I went along to the 'walk on' day at Frontline Paintball today to take photos for Matt and his mates. I actually had pretty good fun too. I might go next time and take a gun though, as getting shot in the bap and not being able to shoot back sucked! I took a lotta lotta photos: some good, some not so good. Matt was chuffed with them though and that'll do for me!