Why, Flying Spaghetti Monster? Why?

Why have I got a spot on my little finger?

Why did the shop, despite being dead all morning, fill up as soon as I sat down to eat my lovely hot soupy lunch?

Why have you not tried this before?

Why do birds suddenly appearevery time you shout 'ninja' and punch me in the face?

I found god...

...he was pasta all along.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flying+spaghetti+monster&i=1

He touched me with His Noodly Appendage. It was not good.

Is it bad....

....that this paragraph of 'The Machine Gunners' really made me laugh?

Chas cheered up. Two whole slices of fried bread and a roll of pale pink sausage meat. It tasted queer. But he was starting to like the queerness.

How will I keep a straight face when I read it to my new class? Let's just hope there's no talk of semis.

Sleep blame

Mary sleep blamed me today. I never thought it would happen. I feel betrayed.

She fell asleep on the armchair after lunch. Whilst asleep, she said in a loud voice,

"Catherine did it." Cheers.

He he x

3 is a magic number

3 stupid things I have done in the last fortnight:
-Went to a school play on the wrong day
-Put Persil in the dishwasher
-Broke the mop by mopping too hard

3 things that are currently annoying me:
-Victoria Beckham's overuse of the word 'major'
-Rain, rain, rain and more rain
-Lack of Diagnosis Murder in the afternoons

Number of school plays I have seen in the past fortnight: 3
The year group I will be teaching in September: 3
Glasses of Pimms I will drink tonight: 3

Three ya later x

Cakey cakey cake cake

This week I have been mainly obsessed with cake. In particular, one I made at the weekend. It was so pretty. I am sad it has all gone. So sad I may have to make another one.

The coffee cake was made from:

6oz self raising flour
Half a teaspoon of baking powder
Half a teaspoon of salt
5oz caster sugar
4oz margarine
Egg replacer made up to the equivalent of 2 eggs)
1 tablespoon instant coffee dissolved in 3 tablespoons of soya milk
2oz crushed walnuts

Mix all the ingredients together and bake for 30 mins in a greased cake tin at gas mark 7.

I actually made two cakes of this size and sandwiched them together. I also made twice this chocolate mocha icing:

1 and a half cups of icing sugar
A third of a cup of cocoa
A quarter of a cup of margarine
Half a teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of instant coffee
2 or 3 tablespoons of soya milk
I know it's strange it being in different measures but it is because the recipes are from different places!

Yum. Make it now and post it to me. Do it.